Twitter Updates for 2010-05-10
- Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. — Al Gore, U.S. Vice President #
- Four things come not back — the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity. — – Arabian Proverb #
- "This is outrage on a stick, man." — Colin D., while a bunch of us were making up crazy palindromes. #
- The Samsung i9000 Galaxy S with Excellent Screen Technology http://goo.gl/fb/802Yx #
- The New Samsung i9000 Galaxy S with Great Screen Technology http://goo.gl/fb/9o95P #
- BlackBerry Bold the phone to perform every task http://goo.gl/fb/yBtKo #
- LG KP500 Cookie Makes A Come Back http://goo.gl/fb/PlQAd #
- The Excellent Samsung i9000 Galaxy S featuring Super AMOLED Screen http://goo.gl/fb/ANhuW #
- Older men declare war. But its the youth who must fight and die! — Herbert Hoover #
- To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D. — B. Duggan #
- There are more things in heaven and earth than any place else. #
- I may have touched it, but I never ate it. — Mattboy #
- "Why do men go to war? Because women are watching." — T. S. Eliot #
- Your fortune stateth: Someone is speaking well of you. How unusual! #
- – All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous. #
- You see, there's two things you got to remember…. wait. Is it two, or one? — Mike #
- Fats Loves Madelyn #
- Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith. — Anonymous #
- You ever notice that all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie. — Dante #
- The kind uncles and aunts of the race are more esteemed than its true spiritual fathers and mothers. — Henry David Thoreau, "Walden" #
- Maybe you needed this — Alisatvr #
- It's like getting pummeled with little tiny eyeballs. — Rando #
- "You, my boy, if you want to be a good pickpocket, need to learn how to tell a wallet from a maxipad." — Jessica #
- "The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone." — Henrik Ibsen #
- I wanted to stay I wanted to play, I wanted to love you. — Dave Matthews #
- OK, so what's the speed of dark ? — Stephen Wright #
- Time is the most valuable thing one can spend. — Theophrastus #
- "Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years." — Anonymous #
- "There's a technological breakthrough on your left elbow" — Ellie (Don't ask.) #
- The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again. #
- "Just a minute, I can't hear you. I have to put on my glasses." — Ruth Hovick #
- Would you care to drift aimlessly in my direction? #
- Your fortune stateth: Give your very best today. Heaven knows it's little enough. #
- "My dear teacher, I will say it once more, emphatically: Bangladesh!" — Ryan Patterson #
- "Yeah, thrust all the responsibility on the woman why don't you?" — Ellie, the only female in the room. #
- Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking. — Jerome Lettvin #
- "I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of." — Clarence Darrow #
- "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." — W.C. Fields #
- Your fortune stateth: You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy. #
- We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. — Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 #
- The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. — Mark Russell #
- SaNdRa is an idiot. Ogden Nash said "candy is dandy but liquor is quicker", not Willy Wonka. Idiot. — Someone With A Brain #
- According to my best recollection, I don't remember. — Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo #
- What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. — Abraham H. Maslow #
- "The world would be a much prettier place if those blue M&M's would melt in your hands. Just think — EVERYTHING BLUE!" — Mike Lavery #
- "Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." — Einstein #
- You're never too old to become younger. — Mae West #
- Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. — Goethe #
- Oppernockity tunes but once. #
- "The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream: it is a most depressing and humiliating reality." — Oscar Wilde #
- Call on God, but row away from the rocks. — Indian proverb #
- Badness is only spoiled goodness. — C.S Lewis, "The case for Christianity" #
- "Marlene, I don't think it's acceptable to set fire to your guests." — Jen #
- Stare. It's the way to educate your eyes. Stare, pry, listen, eavesdrop. Die knowing something. You are not here long. — Walker Evans #
- Justice is incidental to law and order. — J. Edgar Hoover #
- Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Cleveland. — National Lampoon, "Deteriorada" #
- Knowledge without common sense is folly. #
- "When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not more of a pastime to her than she is to me?" — Michel Eyquem de Montaigne #
- RECONSIDER, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Your fortune stateth: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. #
- I may look calm, but beneath this cool exterior is a churning iceberg ready to explode. #
- When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. — Clarence Darrow #
- You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence. — Robert Frost #
- A lie in time saves nine. #
- I went to a museum, and it had all the heads and arms of the statues that were in all the other museums. — Steven Wright #
- Fight war not wars, kill the power not the people — Crass #
- Your fortune stateth: If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it. #
- Your fortune stateth: Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum. #
- What I want is all of the power and none of the responsibility. #
- "Artificial intelligences make mistakes too, only faster." — Larry Wall #
- People find life entirely too time-consuming — Stanislaw J. Lec #
- Sack Kay Burley who gave that harridan a job? What a nasty piece of work #
- "I am the winter of your discontent. I am a pithed frog. OK, I can do without the rock-n-roll." #
- Liberals? Conservatives? Liberals and Conservatives? No way, not now, not ever #dontdoitnick #
- Fabninc Shcnoftner. — Amanda, failing to say "fabric softener". #
- Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. — Pancho Villa, dying words #
- If God lived on earth, people would break his windows. — Jewish Proverb #
- All that glitters is not gold; all that wander are not lost. #
- "Next person to lie has to leave the tip." — Matt Maher #
- *Whack!* "Enough of your snicker bars!" — Julie #
- Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good. — Anonymous #
- Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. — Eleanor Roosevelt #
- If we can't have revolution, we just might settle for revenge. — George Oswall #
- "I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up." — Mark Twain #
- I don't know what that marijuana is, but you bring it in here and I'll drink it! #
- Oh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes. #
- Tent Reviews now live http://goo.gl/fb/IcPrj #
- Who was Eyvund? Some great big blond hunk of a viking. And who was Sam? Some lousy lawyer. — Professor, on an Icelandic saga #
- Fresco's Discovery: If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored. #
- Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom. #
- If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? — Richard Nixon #
- Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know. — Groucho Marx #
- Your fortune stateth: You need more time; and you probably always will. #
- Nietzsche is pietzsche, but Schiller is killer, and Goethe is moethe. #
- Hotels in West Yorkshire http://goo.gl/fb/OjJQf #
- "But my tongue was hot…" — 3-year-old Jared's response to his mother when told not to stick his tongue out at other people. #
- Cheri: There's a difference between "torment" and "happy". Celia: Well, for you…. #
- "The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there." — Edouard Manet #
- Excessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility. #
- Be different: conform. #
- "It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." — George Bernard Shaw #
- Boy! Eucalyptus! #
- Main's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. #
- Karen (talking to her car): Hey, quit that, damn car! Matt (in the passenger's seat): I'm not a damn car! Karen: Hey, quit that, damn Matt! #
- Any tool is a weapon if you hold it right — Ani Difranco #
- Know thyself. — Linnaeus #
- "No, it's not a Lava Lamp; it's long." — overheard at work #
- "Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished." — Jeremy Bentham #
- Your fortune stateth: Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day. #
- "I'm just waiting for my cheap sex toy to show up." — Helen #
- Riiiiiiiiiight — Dr. Evil #
- To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools. — Anonymous #
- Life is like playing the violin solo inpublic and learning the instument as you go. — Edward Geroge Bulwer-Lytton #
- Best Selling Electronic Cigarette http://goo.gl/fb/qZUhR #
- Whenever I'm stoned, I always seem to talk with my mouth. — Jenn, stoned, meaning to explain that she always seems to talk with her hands. #
- Flee at once, all is discovered. #
- Jon: "So, do you think you would ask her out?" Aaron: "Yeah…. Uh huh…. Maybe…. Well, probably not…. No." #
- Voucher Codes for Fashion http://goo.gl/fb/QxTg1 #
- Language is a virus from another planet. — William Burroughs #
- If you stand in one place long enough, the world will come to you. — Chinese Proverb #
- Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is. — Diane Ackerman #
- Your fortune stateth: Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think. #
- "Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him." — Fyodor Dostoyevski #
- It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions. — Aldous Huxley #
- "Go away…I'm alright." — H. G. Wells, dying words #
- Sometimes, you hit the bar, and saometimes, the bar hits you — Jeffrey Lebowski Aka #
- Words have a longer life than deeds. — Pindar #
- Any tool is a weapon if you hold it right — Ani Difranco #
- Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light. — Anonymous #
- Tis man's perdition to be safe, when for the truth he ought to die. #
- Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle? #
- "Dead birds don't fall out of their nests." — Winston Churchill – when someone told him his fly buttons were undone #
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