Twitter Updates for 2010-05-24
- Never try to outstubborn a cat. — Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love" #
- "You can observe a lot by watching." — Yogi Berra #
- "Since when was genius found respectable?" — Elizabeth Barrett Browning #
- Money can do anything. Why, it can help stamp out poverty. — Some guy who has sold $9 million worth of knives. #
- Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow! — Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace) #
- Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. — Mark Twain #
- "I've got a bag down my pants." — Courtney #
- "I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street." — Virginia Woolf #
- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation. #
- I don't know anything about art, but I know what I like. — Gelett Burgess #
- DiscountVoucherscouk Announces Acquisition of Latest Bargain Codes for Summer http://goo.gl/fb/LTtRX #
- Apple iPhone 4G Again Floated With Rumours http://goo.gl/fb/Rr2Ny #
- Pay as you go mobile phones Affordable and user friendly gadgets http://goo.gl/fb/sQHIV #
- Leading Networks offering best HTC desire deals this is all you want http://goo.gl/fb/lxW27 #
- Apple iPhone 3GS vs Nokia N97 the incomparable handsets http://goo.gl/fb/GwpUp #
- PUBLISH, n. In literary affairs, to become the fundamental element in a cone of critics. — Ambrose Bierce #
- People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. — Soren Aabye Kierkegaard #
- Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but nothing of interest is easy. #
- I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free — Michelangelo #
- "I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling." — Florence Henderson #
- Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology. — Blaauw's Law #
- Have a nice day! #
- Such is life. — Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol #
- Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I love you." — Erich Fromm #
- Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink? #
- "Hi, I'm Matt and I'll be your dork this evening." — Krista S. #
- Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. — Mark Twain #
- Riiiiiiiiiight — Dr. Evil #
- When in doubt, use brute force. — Ken Thompson #
- To suffering there is a limit; to fearing, none. — Francis Bacon #
- May be we have to train the ethics. — Jin Chul Kim #
- "It will feel better when it stops hurting." — Coach Burger (Putnam City High School, Oklahoma City) #
- "I think it's the father" — Tyler, age 8, responding to the trivia question: "What is the smelliest member of the rodent family?" #
- To err is human, to moo bovine. #
- I bet if we dug into the ground at the zoo we'd find that all the animals are on sticks. — Dave Hunter #
- I'm running out of everything now. Out of veins, out of money. — William S. Burroughs #
- That's it! I'm going to the comittee. Today is now under protest. — Brian #
- "We're all about to become statistics!" — a gleeful Kenton Self, as the bus began sliding backwards down an icy mountain road. #
- Never look a gift horse in the mouth. — Saint Jerome #
- Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance — Jean-Paul Sarte, "Nausea" #
- "It ain't broke, it just lacks duct tape." – Jim and Tim – the Duct Tape Guys #
- The longer you look at an object, the more abstract it becomes, and, ironically, the more real. — Lucian Freud #
- "I don't want to look any more gay than I already am." — Mark, explaining why he didn't want to get his nails done. #
- Fortune's Office Door Sign of the Week: Incorrigible punster — Do not incorrige. #
- If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. — Martin Luther King Jr. #
- Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him. #
- "If we leave now we won't have to walk as far." — Girl in crowd, near the end of a basketbal game. #
- "But I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth." — Chico Marx – to his wife when she caught him kissing a chorus girl #
- You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers. — J. D. Salinger #
- "I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path." — Ronald Mabbitt #
- "In each of us are places where we have never gone. Only by pressing the limits do you ever find them." — Dr. Joyce Brothers #
- Cleveland still lives. God _must be dead. #
- Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening. — Homer Simpson #
- "I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars." — Abbie Hoffman #
- I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest. — Alexandre Dumas pere #
- Unfair animal names: — tsetse fly — bullhead — booby — duck-billed platypus — sapsucker — Clarence — Gary Larson #
- " I feel like Julia Roberts, only with out that hole prostitute thing" — Shes All That #
- "Proper words in proper places make the true definiton of style." — Jonathan Swift #
- I never listen to the radio. If it's bad, I make fun of it, and if it's good, I get jealous that I didn't think of it. — John Lennon #
- The purpose of a liberal education is to make one's mind a pleasant place to spend one's leisure. — Anonymous #
- "Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life." — Andrew Brown #
- I had never spoken to her, except for a few casual words. and yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood. — James Joyce #
- The aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom, but to set a limit to infinite error. — Bertolt Brecht, #
- I've Been Moved! #
- In order to discover new lands, one must be willing to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. — Anonymous #
- "It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions." — Charles F. Kettering #
- Two percent of zero is almost nothing. #
- "Learning is not compulsory. Neither is survival." — W. Edwards Deming #
- Don't quit now, we might just as well lock the door and throw away the key. #
- "The smaller the town… the bigger the hair." — Linda Flynn #
- Well begun is half done. — Aristotle #
- Peace is not a season, it is a way of life. — Anonymous #
- Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. — Publilius Syrus #
- "Gee, it smelled like Head Cheese." — Owen, after eating a slice of polyurethane coated human DNA. #
- This sentence contradicts itself — no actually it doesn't. — Douglas Hofstadter #
- Our problems are so serious that the best way to talk about them is lightheartedly. #
- Harris's Lament: All the good ones are taken. #
- "If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia." — Thomas Szasz #
- Nicky: The Virgin Mary was born on THAT day. She was the product of a virgin birth too. Me: Immaculate conception is not genetic. #
- They see poetry in what I have done. No. I apply my methods, and that is all there is to it. — Georges Seurat #
- Your fortune stateth: You will be awarded some great honor. #
- Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master. — Emo Philips #
- "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." — Bertrand Russell #
- Mere colour, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways. — Oscar Wilde #
- It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag. #
- The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled culinary vessel will not achieve 100 degrees on the Celsius scale. #
- The free iPad scramble begins http://goo.gl/fb/9IpIo #
- Jon, what setting do I nead to put the gas ring on to boil water? — Naomi, age 18 #
- "Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort." — Stephen Leacock #
- Sometimes it's useful to know how large your zero is. — Anonymous #
- Don't get even — get odd! #
- A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. — Mark Twain #
- I regret that I have but one life to give for my country. — Nathan Hale #
- There is no must in art because art is free. — Wassily Kandinsky #
- "You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race." — George Bernard Shaw #
- If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it. — Les Aspin, D., Wisconsin #
- It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk. — Anonymous #
- Education is a sexual disease, IT makes you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you have the urge to pass it on. — Terry Pratchett #
- Most artists are doing basically the same thing – staying off the streets. — Edward Ruscha #
- Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. — Anais Nin #
- "Both of you three stand up!" — Mr. Tanzeem, a very angry Math teacher at Karachi Grammar School #
- Wifi internet radio a hit this summer http://goo.gl/fb/VDMG4 #
- The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. — George Bernard Shaw #
- Immanuel Kant but Kubla Khan. #
- A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs. #
- Julie: "Wasn't the trail wider before?" Jen: "I seem to remember the trail being taller." — commenting on the overgrown Little Si trail. #
- "You're a disgrace to twindom world wide!" — John #
- "They told me I was gullible … and I believed them!" #
- In creating, the only hard thing is to begin: a grass blade's no easier to make than an oak. — James Russell Lowell #
- Your fortune stateth: You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize… posthumously. #
- Your fortune stateth: Excellent time to become a missing person. #
- "We're going to run around like brazen idiots." — Gabe and Jeff, when asked what they were doing for spring break #
- I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. — G. K. Chesterton #
- Nothing lasts forever. Where do I find nothing? #
- Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. — W. Somerset Maughm #
- – Surveillance should precede saltation. #
- A man's house is his hassle. #
- Practice yourself what you preach. — Titus Maccius Plautus #
- Your fortune stateth: Bank error in your favor. Collect $200. #
- "He is now rising from affluence to poverty." — Mark Twain #
- Laughing at you is like drop kicking a wounded humming bird. #
- Writers are liars my dear, surely you know that by now? — Neil Gaiman, 'Sandman: Dream County' #
- "I smell good today and my hair is not very loud." — Jen #
- Georgia Residents can Use their Health Insurance Georgia Plan Benefits to be Healthy http://goo.gl/fb/G6Gvp #
- "There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." — W. Somerset Maugham #
- Boredom delenda est! #
- Buy The Worlds No1 Electronic Cigarette http://goo.gl/fb/xpIIW #
- I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once. #
- Girlfriend of a friend: So what are you afraid of? Friend: What, you mean besides Kryptonite?!?! #
- A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. — Charles Darwin #
- "Mmmmm…. hamburgers. I think the Burger King is on fire." — Jen #
- "Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil." — Niccolo Machiavelli #
- All things are possible, except for skiing through a revolving door. #
- Technique is only a vehicle. — Callum Innes #
- "Sometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I'm the only ashtray." #
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