Twitter Updates for 2010-05-30
- "I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability." — Oscar Wilde #
- "My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?" — Henny Youngman #
- "Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road." — Stewart Brand #
- Vision is the art of seeing things invisible. — Jonathan Swift #
- Matt: "Wow, that girl in the lime green thong isn't wearing a top." John: "Uh Matt, that's not a girl." #
- What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan. — Anonymous #
- Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. — Sam Brown, "The Washington Post", January 26, 1977 #
- The proper school to learn art is not life but art — Oscar Wilde #
- "I know why I got voted vice-president. It was my irresistable buns of steel." — C.J. Johnson #
- Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. — Carl Gustav Jung #
- The Martian Canals were clearly the Martian's last ditch effort! #
- "For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." — Richard P. Feynman #
- I'ma live my life until the last sin, then resurrect through the birth of my son and live again. — Tragedy Khadafi #
- Beauty is only a light switch away — On a Bathroom Wall #
- Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery. #
- "What state's North Dakota in?" — Kristen #
- Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. — Winston Churchill #
- Your fortune stateth: You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity. #
- "Plaese porrf raed." — Prof. Michael O'Longhlin, S.U.N.Y. Purchase #
- "To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture." — Anatole France #
- "Your grandma IS my psychic whore!" — overheard in the hallway at school #
- "The passions often engender their contraries." — Francois La Rochefoucauld #
- Free iPhone 4G Launch Party http://goo.gl/fb/8VJiE #
- "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." — Lewis Grizzard #
- "Rembrandt painted 700 pictures. Of these, 3,000 are still in existence." — Wilhelm Bode #
- "…you can look inside my empty Skittles bag." "There's a stop-motion animation film festival going on in there!" — Katie and Megan #
- "Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant." — Edward Gibbon #
- "If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank." — Woody Allen #
- If ya ain't got it in ya, ya can't blow it out. — Louis Armstrong #
- It has been said that art is a tryst, for in the joy of it maker and beholder meet. — Kojiro Tomita #
- If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same? #
- "What am I supposed to do with all my stuff?" — Paul B., upon being told that Jen was leaving him #
- "Oops. Sorry. Landmine. They're indiscriminate, you know." — Ann Quarles #
- When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. — Wilson Mizner #
- Minnie Mouse is a slow maze learner. #
- Nobody ever called Pablo Picasso an asshole — Jonathan Richman #
- "People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense." — Ken Kesey #
- "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." — Janis Joplin #
- ALONE, adj. In bad company. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. — Barbara Bush #
- "A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing." — Oscar Wilde #
- The little green bunny-rabbits have been chosen to do the can-can. — micky c. #
- Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. — Josh Billings #
- Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. — W. Somerset Maughm #
- In my end is my beginning. — T.S. Eliot #
- I used to get high on life, but I've built up a tolerance. #
- Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice. — Anonymous #
- Shannon: Life's hard and then you die. Jessica: And that's the good part! #
- Q: How many IBM cpu's does it take to do a logical right shift? A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register. #
- RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection. — Ambrose Bierce #
- "We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have prevailed without them in _Red Storm Rising_." — Senator Dan Quayle #
- Your fortune stateth: Your boss climbed the corporate ladder, wrong by wrong. #
- "I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers." — Gandhi #
- You're getting verrry sleepy…You're a chicken! — Jon #
- God, please save me from your followers! — Anonymous #
- I like the idea of an ancient race — it makes a world feel so…lived in. #
- In God we trust; all others must pay cash. — Anonymous #
- Am I the only one who gets really excited by that sign on the Pennsylvania turnpike that reads 'Caution: Wet Descending Curves'? — Paul #
- Your fortune stateth: You will have domestic happiness and faithful friends. #
- La solitude est une belle chose; mais il faut quelqu'un pour vous dire que la solitude est une belle chose. — Balzac #
- "There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex." — Billy Joel #
- "It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't screwed up like that" — Sam #
- A Strategic Approach To Online Tutoring http://goo.gl/fb/P7gKI #
- Sale Offers From BuilderSuperstore http://goo.gl/fb/ctG8a #
- Metermaids eat their young. #
- Teamwork is essential — it allows you to blame someone else. #
- When it's a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. — Voltaire #
- BlackBerry Mobile Phone Comparison Site Relaunches to Help Consumers Get Best BlackBerry Deal http://goo.gl/fb/DMzQM #
- The chicken and the egg were postmarked for the same day but arrived separately. — Baisden #
- "If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly." — Ashleigh Brilliant #
- There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish. — Walt Disney #
- You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough. — William Blake #
- "Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there." — Clare Boothe Luce #
- Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted. — Anonymous #
- Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday #
- Free iPhone 4G with LOVEFiLM http://goo.gl/fb/6l5pf #
- "The extreme always seems to make an impression." — _Heathers_ #
- Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried. — Mae West #
- Your fortune stateth: You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part. #
- "Are you a hermaphrodite table?" — Daniel "Fluffy" #
- cashier: You from 'round here? Heather: Yes. cashier: You from North Carolina? Heather: Yeah. cashier: You American? Heather: No. #
- Nokia C6 Deals Phone with enigmatic design http://goo.gl/fb/ryNMv #
- Nokia N8 Deals Reflect your phone love with Nokia N8 http://goo.gl/fb/YlPAZ #
- LG 55LX9900 3D TV http://goo.gl/fb/If8sb #
- Nokia N900 deals Perfect for users http://goo.gl/fb/LMzum #
- Focus DIY and Gardening 15 percent Off Everything http://goo.gl/fb/YCJgh #
- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children — Classified Ad #
- "I'd rather be deaf than blind because if I was blind I couldn't do my hair." — Lori Denton #
- Wow. I'd forgotten all about rain. Now I'm covered with water. — Matt #
- Comet discount codes http://goo.gl/fb/D1x1Y #
- Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change. #
- Free speech is the right to shout 'theater' in a crowded fire. — A Yippie proverb #
- "Kirk to Enterprise — beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack." #
- LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Free Reverse Phone Number Lookup Search Cell Phone And Unlisted Numbers http://goo.gl/fb/ET4Db #
- Free iPhone 4G On Release Day http://goo.gl/fb/sWY2o #
- Stair lifts Stairlifts available to rent or buy http://goo.gl/fb/MMkq1 #
- The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. — William Butler Yeats, "The Second Coming" #
- "I said I _liked_ being half-educated; you were so much more _surprised_ at everything when you were ignorant." — Gerald Durrell #
- "As long as we're going to reinvent the wheel again, we might as well try making it round this time." — Mike Dennison #
- Pyros of the world… IGNITE !!! #
- "Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter." — Seen on a bumper sticker #
- "Women would rather be right than reasonable." — Ogden Nash #
- The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. — Mother Teresa #
- MMA Clothing keeping fans happy http://goo.gl/fb/yYe5E #
- Sony Ericsson Satio Phone on Vodafone and Orange http://goo.gl/fb/UgLaO #
- Samsung UE46C8000 3D TV http://goo.gl/fb/wi7Aa #
- "God created the world out of nothing, but the nothingness still shows through." — Soren Aabye Kierkegaard #
- Everything should be built top-down, except the first time. #
- The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who love me. — George Bernard Shaw #
- A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. — Joey Adams #
- Samsung UE46C7000 3DTV http://goo.gl/fb/9cbal #
- Benji: (Really LOUD) "I LOVE subtlety!" Heather: "Okay, just shout that out why don't you?" #
- No one is listening until you make a mistake. — Anonymous #
- Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. — Louise Hay #
- Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else. — George Bernard Shaw #
- You have undertaken to cheat me. I won't sue you, for the law is too slow. I'll ruin you. — Cornelius Vanderbilt #
- Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking. — H. L. Mencken #
- Your fortune stateth: You will contract a rare disease. #
- Paper Jamz Hottest 2010 Toy Just Released http://goo.gl/fb/bHxIZ #
- Nokia X6 16GB Black http://goo.gl/fb/J2Zs5 #
- Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. — Anonymous #
- You're in a fishbowl so make use of it, man. — John Lennon #
- When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat. #
- Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating ten more. — George Bernard Shaw #
- Mindflex the Hottest Christmas toy for 2010 http://goo.gl/fb/YmXVd #
- If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? — Richard Nixon #
- "I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement." — Oscar Wilde #
- It's not the fall that kills you, it's the landing. #
- "Print is the sharpest and the strongest weapon of our party." — Joseph Stalin #
- They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either. — Anonymous #
- Your fortune stateth: Never be led astray onto the path of virtue. #
- Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes. — Oscar Wilde #
- "Work is the source of nearly all the misery in the world." — Bob Black #
- Stop me, before I kill again! #
- Blasphemy is a victimless crime. — Anonymous #
- Remember the… the… uhh….. #
- "Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated." — M. C. Reed #
- Question: Man Invented Alcohol, God Invented Grass. Who do you trust? #
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