Twitter Updates for 2010-06-02
- "I think God forgot to turn up the thermostat." — Jen #
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- UKs first specialist sub prime car dealer gains SAF Approved status http://goo.gl/fb/0OacV #
- Innovative HTC Desire deals Hi-Tech Phone with Free laptops http://goo.gl/fb/mwfl1 #
- Do be do be do. — Frank Sinatra #
- "Why did you turn me into a bison, anyways?" — Tristan #
- "With a name like Vixxxen, didn't her parents know she was going to grow up to be a porn star?" — Wayne, while watching Jerry Springer. #
- Vodafone Will Be Coming Up With HTC Wildfire Deals http://goo.gl/fb/yT9Ew #
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- Nokia 5800 Xpress music http://goo.gl/fb/9HeWr #
- Free iPhone 4G UK Countdown Begins http://goo.gl/fb/kfaX8 #
- You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war. — Napoleon #
- Life is hard. After all, it kills you. — Katharine Hepburn #
- Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. — Stephen Leacock #
- Apple iPhone 4G Deals Hitting The Market http://goo.gl/fb/ys2LW #
- Vero Moda India Launch http://goo.gl/fb/kfycq #
- Grab useful and cheap Nokia N97 contract deals http://goo.gl/fb/VBhwM #
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- Nokia X3 VS Nokia E72 http://goo.gl/fb/v63FH #
- Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find out how to do it. — Theodore Roosevelt #
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- Pringle of Scotland Milan Show http://goo.gl/fb/z0l5F #
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- Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously? #
- The fullfillment is always in the wish. — Soeren Kierkegaard, "Edifying Discourses" #
- People used what they called a telephone becuase they hated being close together and they were scared of being alone. — Chuck Palahniuk #
- You know, if stupidity was a river, you would be… a really big river. — Tomas Terfloth #
- Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little. XXXX I AM HERE #
- "Historians are the deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them." — Leo Tolstoy #
- Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche. — Austen Briggs #
- "If I like it, I say it's mine. If I don't I say it's a fake." — Pablo Picasso – when asked how he knew which paintings were his. #
- The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going. — Anonymous #
- It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire. — Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace) #
- – Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity. #
- Peace be to this house, and all that dwell in it. #
- Death–the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening. — Walter Scott #
- A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness. #
- QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Sony Ericsson Aino vs Sony Ericsson Satio http://goo.gl/fb/lQVtL #
- The Electronic Cigarette http://goo.gl/fb/HF7TL #
- Samsung B5310 Corby Pro Funky Tool http://goo.gl/fb/rdfOY #
- Apple iPhone 4G New Face Of Wireless Commuincation http://goo.gl/fb/iTg8K #
- Nokia N97 vs Nokia N97 Mini http://goo.gl/fb/b6YEN #
- "Do you want cheese or lettuce on your taco?" — Taco shop waiter to Buck in Seattle in 1970. #
- The reverse side also has a reverse side. — Japanese proverb #
- We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us. — Mme de Stael #
- I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers. — Claude Monet #
- I don't want to die without scars — Tyler Durden #
- Don't try to drive the homeless into places we find suitable. Help them survive in places they find suitable. — Daniel Quinn #
- A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it. — Stanley Baldwin #
- "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." — Lewis Grizzard #
- Law of the Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. #
- Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. — Lewis Grizzard #
- "The Sun is a stunningly mediocre star, but it is our star and we love it." — Astronomy Prof Balbus #
- I have a great deal of company in my house; especially in the morning, when nobody calls. — Henry David Thoreau, "Walden" #
- Teacher: "The answer to number 5 is C." Student: "I disagree." Teacher: "Why?" Student: "Because why would it be C?" #
- "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe." — Dan Quayle #
- The first draft of anything is shit. — Ernest Hemingway #
- The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. — Mother Teresa #
- Charity: "What makes kosher pickels 'kosher'?" Me: "They are just like regular pickels, only a little bit shorter." #
- The girl who can't dance says the band can't play. — Yiddish Proverb #
- Only positive consequences encourage good future performances. — Kenneth H. Blanchard #
- If anything can go wrong, it will. #
- "It's all your fault!" — Daniel "Fluffy" #
- "It's not polite to play with other people's fat." — Allan Boyd to his daughter Faith, who delights in jiggling his gut. #
- "Children should neither be seen nor heard from — ever again." — W. C. Fields #
- We are the only animals that let our kids come back home. — Bill Cosby #
- "im dying and it's pissing me off" — The Evening Star #
- Does nobody understand? — James Joyce #
- It wasn't that she had a rose in her teeth, exactly. It was more like the rose and the teeth were in the same glass. #
- While most peoples' opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never does. #
- "You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot." — Elayne Boosler #
- Your fortune stateth: Advancement in position. #
- Your fortune stateth: You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive. #
- Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. — Dick Brandon #
- I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it. #
- No man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas. #
- There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. — Mark Twain #
- I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology. — James R. F. Quirk #
- "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." — Milton Burle #
- Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. — Mark Twain #
- "Humility is no substitute for a good personality." — Fran Lebowitz #
- Anatomy (n): something everyone has, but which looks better on a girl — Bruce Raeburn. #
- iPhone 4G or HD Who cares what they call it as long as it is free http://goo.gl/fb/ZLZHV #
- Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. — Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" #
- Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed. — Hoshang N. Akhtar #
- He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader. — Aristotle #
- The Sony Ericsson Xperia 10 Should Be on Everyones List to Buy http://goo.gl/fb/SSsQg #
- Life is not for everyone. #
- Aim for the gutter, you can't miss. — David Wands #
- No yak too dirty; no dumpster too hollow. #
- Your fortune stateth: You will become rich and famous unless you don't. #
- "I'm going to slap you naked and hide your clothes!" — anonymous Latin Teacher #
- Imagine if we peed with our breasts… — Jill #
- "I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 Miles.' That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired." — Steven Wright #
- Apple iPhone 4G a New Horizon http://goo.gl/fb/gKIqh #
- Your fortune stateth: Snow Day — stay home. #
- "For NASA, space is still a high priority." — Dan Quayle #
- Nokia N8 Superb Entertainment Phone with HD Experience http://goo.gl/fb/MMOJ7 #
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- We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it. — Woodrow Wyatt #
- "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth–even if it costs him his job." — Samuel Goldwyn #
- Oh my god, he DOES look like a meatloaf! — Becky H., the first time she saw my cat #
- Apple iPad Consumers Getting Them Free http://goo.gl/fb/qTRTE #
- Wickes Promotion Ends 9th June http://goo.gl/fb/OXbri #
- You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd. #
- It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it. — Francois de La Rouchefoucauld #
- Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. — Publilius Syrus #
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- 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. — Samuel Butler #
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- Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight. — Andy Warhol #
- I learn by going where I have to go. — Theodore Roethke #
- I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. — Winston Churchill #
- Your fortune stateth: You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own. #
- Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration — Thomas Edison #
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- "2,400,000 Americans play the accordian – hopefully not at the same time." — Inside of a Pepsi cap #
- "Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable." — Henry Louis Mencken #
- He became absorbed beyond mere happiness as he felt himself exercising control over living things. — William Golding #
- L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare. — L. Pasteur #
- I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. — The Doctor, Timewyrm: Genesys, author, John Peel #
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- Watch the World Cup on a Free TV http://goo.gl/fb/zcMT3 #
- "That's exactly what it's like … just not so much." — Pat H. #
- "Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal." — Lionel Trilling #
- FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce #
- When it's a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. — Voltaire #
- Accordion, n.: A bagpipe with pleats. #
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- San Francisco, n.: Marcel Proust editing an issue of Penthouse. #
- There are more valid facts and details in works of art than there are in history books. — Charlie Chaplin #
- Klein bottle for rent — inquire within. #
- When all other means of communication fail, try words. #
- Finagle's Creed: Science is true. Don't be misled by facts. #
- It's so elegant that it's wrong. #
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- "Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination." — Christopher Isherwood #
- "Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it." — Maurice Chevalier #
- "Now is the time for all good men to come to." — Walt Kelly #
- "Well, what the hell'd you expect, pushing the button marked 'Do Not Press'?" — Daniel "Fluffy" #
- Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. — Charlie Parker #
- A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. — Patrick Murray #
- I blew on people back home. And they got really mad. And I felt bad, because that was a habit I had gotten into. — Alison #
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- I am a intellectual. — Molly #
- Power (n): The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA. — Anonymous #
- "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order." — Brian Pickrell #
- "You never get a first chance to make a second opinion." — Jamie Jones delivers a drunken misquote on a holiday in Ibiza. #
- When in doubt, do what the President does — guess. #
- "It is permanent, at least for now." — Edward #
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- "God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically." — attributed to Albert Einstein #
- Your fortune stateth: Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance. #
- Your fortune stateth: Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks. #
- "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." — W.C. Fields #
- "Splendid couple – slept with both of them." — Maurice Bowra – British academic – referring to a well-known literary couple #
- If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. — H. L. Mencken #
- A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. — Ogden Nash #
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- Love is sentimental measles. #
- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. — Mae West #
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