Twitter Updates for 2010-06-05
- If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams. #
- "I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up." — Mark Twain #
- A day without sunshine is like a day without orange juice. #
- Pest control for your home and garden http://goo.gl/fb/SfTwn #
- HTC Tattoo The Complete Entertainer http://goo.gl/fb/nTMtB #
- "The man who does not read good books is at no advantage over the man that can't read them." — Mark Twain #
- Do not drink coffee in early A.M. It will keep you awake until noon. #
- Focus DIY Price reductions on turf and sheds http://goo.gl/fb/VZZNO #
- Apple 4G iPhone contract deals Speculation runs rife http://goo.gl/fb/oDvuw #
- John Lewis new garden products http://goo.gl/fb/I8SBZ #
- Relax this summer in style in your garden http://goo.gl/fb/UWP35 #
- Samsung S5620 Monte Beautiful Design and Enhanced Performance http://goo.gl/fb/7wYMn #
- Never use "etc." — it makes people think there is more where there is not or that there is not space to list it all, etc. #
- Stay away from hurricanes for a while. #
- Ellie: "Do you have any two-headed friends?" Ellie's Mom: "Just you." #
- Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. — Benjamin Disraeli #
- "Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid." — Heinrich Heine #
- "You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot." — Elayne Boosler #
- Is that a cop pulling a…. oohhhh, run. — Tara #
- When two elephants fight it is the grass that suffers. — African Proverb #
- It is hotter than the Hinges of He**! — Kimberly Warzelha, who also says: If you do not get this you are more lost than I am! #
- Your fortune stateth: You have been selected for a secret mission. #
- Ambition makes you look pretty ugly, kicking squealing Gucci little piggy. — Radiohead #
- "Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." — Groucho Marx #
- "Imitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism." — Carl Beaudry (until you can prove otherwise) #
- "Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?" — Clarence Darrow #
- Don't speak unless you can improve upon the silence — Spanish Proverb #
- "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation." — H. H. Munro (Saki) #
- He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes. #
- Love the sea? I dote upon it — from the beach. #
- History is more or less bunk. — Henry Ford #
- "Root beer's good, when you're drinking it." — Alex Nardone, Northeastern University #
- Let your conscience be your guide. — Pope #
- The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. — Yiddish Proverb #
- NOVEL, n. A short story padded. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 #
- Does anal retentive have a hyphen? — Seen on a t-shirt #
- Things are not always what they seem. — Phaedrus #
- Your fortune stateth: You're a card which will have to be dealt with. #
- Drawing is deception. — Maurits Cornelius Escher #
- Girls… that's the reason they have beer. — Scott #
- Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously? #
- "I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe" — Anonymous #
- "The Spice Girls are like Microsoft. They are very popular, and you can't ignore them, but you try your best not to support them." — Arbi #
- Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve, i wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot. — Ani Difranco #
- Do you have any mosquito bites you need ranch on? — Jed #
- "No, it's not a Lava Lamp; it's long." — overheard at work #
- Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. — H. H. Williams #
- "Step up and get played, buddy!" — Colin D., after someone gave a dumb answer in physics class. #
- Confucius say too much. — Recent Chinese Proverb #
- "The steady state of disks is full." — Ken Thompson #
- I don't think any of me is all there. Where's "there," anyway? — Deborah #
- I drink to prepare for a fight. Tonight I am very prepared. — Soda Popinski #
- There is no fool to the old fool. — John Heywood #
- "Barq's bites." — Jen's mom #
- Why doesn't dos ever say "Great command or file name"? — Matt Rose, after receiving a standard DOS error message. #
- I don't want to hear my brilliant T-bone turn into a sausage. — English professor talking about something (I have no clue what). #
- "I have something funny to say, if we're done with this." — Sarah G. #
- "Darling Carrot, do you think you could ever love a cripple?" "No, I don't think so." — Rotting Vegetables In The Sink #
- "A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up." — Sidonie Gabrielle Colette #
- "All progress is based upon the universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income." — Samuel Butler #
- Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin. — Grace Hansen #
- "I wish I was still up there, instead of down there" — Lucas, after sitting down and falling through an old lawn chair. #
- Your fortune stateth: Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow. #
- The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it. — G. K. Chesterton #
- Let sleeping dogs lie. — Charles Dickens #
- If we don't come back, avenge our deaths! — Tomas Terfloth, to Jaryn's mom, right before a road trip. #
- All glory comes from daring to begin. — Eugene F. Ware #
- Happiness is good health and a bad memory. — Ingrid Bergman #
- Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire. — Jean de La Fontaine #
- I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit. — Mel Brooks #
- Dan: "Wow, I'm a complete idiot!" James: "Okay hold on, lemme get this on paper." #
- "Nice" don't feed the bulldog. — Charles, when told he was "not nice". #
- The Electronic Cigarette A Neat Invention http://goo.gl/fb/nOuSt #
- "People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense." — Ken Kesey #
- Reality — what a concept! — Robin Williams #
- They speak of my drinking, but never of my thirst. — Scottish proverb #
- SaNdRa is an idiot. Ogden Nash said "candy is dandy but liquor is quicker", not Willy Wonka. Idiot. — Someone With A Brain #
- "How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars." — Steve Martin #
- (In a semi-dark house…) Karen: AAAAAAAAHHH! Matthew: What?!? Karen: My hair got in my face and I thought I had run into something. #
- Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are. #
- Perfection does not exists – only the evolution towards it. — Motto, Ferrari Formula One (1975-6) #
- "Work is the source of nearly all the misery in the world." — Bob Black #
- God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man. #
- What's the point of wearing your lucky rocketship underpants if no one asks to see 'em? — Calvin #
- "Every time I hear that phone it's ringing!" — Nathan #
- DEFENSELESS, adj. Unable to attack. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account. #
- Fifth Law of Procrastination: Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do. #
- "Politics is the entertainment branch of industry." — Frank Zappa #
- Patience is the best remedy for every trouble. — Titus Maccius Plautus #
- "All I can say is that I'm glad I didn't invest in a lot of those 'Straight not Narrow' pins." — me, upon deciding that I'm queer #
- It's hard to think will all this hair on my head. #
- The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind. — Albert Camus #
- Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. #
- Huh? #
- TheGlobal Tutors Offers fantastic online Maths Assignment Help http://goo.gl/fb/CLXNq #
- Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. — Benjamin Franklin #
- If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us. — Francis Bacon #
- The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. — Mark Russell #
- I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess. — Dennis Miller #
- If you're going through hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill #
- You won't get 'i love you baby' or 'suck my weewee' from me; i try to write interesting lyrics. — Jello Biafra #
- The Motorola Flipout Offers Appeal On All Levels http://goo.gl/fb/IInlN #
- The Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 Provides An Impressive Array Of Features http://goo.gl/fb/7renz #
- Free iPhone 4G In UK Now Not June http://goo.gl/fb/Cl6yV #
- Fresco's Discovery: If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored. #
- "Kevin, can we osculate on your hand?" "Stop masticating at the table!" — KD and Britt #
- In an artist's life, death is perhaps not the most difficult thing. — Vincent van Gogh #
- Ungar, Yanni, ZOLTAR?????? You really think Rachel and Zoltar sound like a good couple? — Rachel #
- "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch." — Alan and Stu #
- Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic. #
- "Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it." — Samuel Johnson #
- Free HTC Desire on Orange with Unlimited Text Messages plus 3 months FREE line rental http://goo.gl/fb/mZVdL #
- The Sony Ericsson Vivaz Is A Stunning All Rounder http://goo.gl/fb/C35XM #
- How To Choose The Right iPhone Contract http://goo.gl/fb/zYWQp #
- Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all. — Jane Austen, "Pride and Prejudice" #
- For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like. — Abraham Lincoln #
- Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. — Albert Einstein #
- I don't wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has to get down to work. — Pearl S. Buck #
- Apple iphone deals Exciting and useful http://goo.gl/fb/4GCxr #
- Buy Dad what he really wants this Fathers Day at Shaving-Shackcom http://goo.gl/fb/G0KEC #
- Top 5 Touch Screen Phones http://goo.gl/fb/b5f2d #
- About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. — Herbert Hoover #
- A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation. — C.E. Ayres #
- Paul Revere was a tattle-tale #
- "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Tayler Coleridge #
- "Tear open packet, unfold and use." — Directions on moist towelette package #
- It is better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall. #
- "Aluminum was once a precious metal." — Jules Verne #
- "My only love sprung from my only hate Too early seen unknown, and known too late." Juliet, Romeo and Juliet — Shakespeare #
- Your fortune stateth: Increased knowledge will help you now. Have mate's phone bugged. #
- "You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race." — George Bernard Shaw #
- No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up. #
- Above all things, reverence yourself. #
- Consolation from imaginary things is not an imaginary consolation — Roger Scruton #
- DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Nokia X5 deals An outstanding gadget at achievable price http://goo.gl/fb/q3igT #
- Apple iPhone 4G Deals The Leaked Information is Raising the Heartbeats http://goo.gl/fb/Pm1XY #
- Accommodation During Commonwealth Games http://goo.gl/fb/028Gr #
- 42 and 32 inch lcd tv Free on Contract Phones http://goo.gl/fb/d2N8t #
- "It's not good to leave blood laying around, Adam, it's not sanitary." — Rachel #
- To know is to know that you know nothing. Thats is the true meaning of knowledge — Confucious #
- The end of the world will occur at 3:00 p.m., this Friday, with symposium to follow. #
- Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others. — Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky #
- New Nokia Phones right gadgets matching your needs http://goo.gl/fb/GjvMr #
- 3 Month Payday Loans Get 100 to 1500 Pounds within 24 hrs http://goo.gl/fb/qD7Pv #
- HTC Desire deals and Samsung Bada deals are the flavor of the season http://goo.gl/fb/yPCkv #
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- Apple iPhone 4G Deals 10 reasons to make it differ from others http://goo.gl/fb/4bjWo #
- Cigarettes cause death — On packs in Europe #
- Go for the money saving Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 deals http://goo.gl/fb/p3raH #
- Versatility of HTC Wildfire http://goo.gl/fb/BAwNf #
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- Apple iPhone Deals A perfect device for everyone http://goo.gl/fb/ZXewS #
- Apple iPhone 4G Deals Will Soon Strike Market http://goo.gl/fb/PZTBH #
- Your fortune stateth: You will be run over by a beer truck. #
- Apple iPhone 4G Deals Will Serve You From The Coming Monday http://goo.gl/fb/i4UrY #
- HTC Wildfire and its Graphic Interface http://goo.gl/fb/zqOey #
- Updated HTC Desire Ready To Compete Google Nexus one Contract http://goo.gl/fb/pFYud #
- Payday loans Soul to the loan industry http://goo.gl/fb/VyRvm #
- Apple iPhone Deals Evolving over the Years http://goo.gl/fb/B659u #
- "I like it, I just don't have the taste for it!" — Ellie's brother #
- I think I'm invisible now. Can you guys see me? — Laura, after quite a bit of wine. #
- Every path has its puddle. #
- If you go blind and deaf you masterbate too much. — Tom fixing some sandwiches #
- The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing. — Anonymous #
- "Well, to be fair I did have a couple of gadgets he probably didn't, like a teaspoon and an open mind." — The Doctor #
- Chicken Little was right. #
- Blackberry Curve 8520 Deals Coming Your Way Cheaply http://goo.gl/fb/KhVca #
- Apple iPhone 4G deals became one of the most awaited deals http://goo.gl/fb/fazKT #
- Unsecured loans causing changes in the market http://goo.gl/fb/idAPH #
- HTC Desire Contract Deals Affordable Phones http://goo.gl/fb/ch7ub #
- Mobile Deals Packed with High Tech Featured Mobile and first class Network http://goo.gl/fb/LCROY #
- "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist—" — John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 #
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