Twitter Updates for 2010-07-07
- It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. — Woody Allen, "Without Feathers" – (1976) #
- "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines." — Frank Lloyd Wright #
- "I wonder if she'll check my hands for calluses." — Missy, before her job interview. #
- – It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid. #
- In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled. #
- Your fortune stateth: You are the only person to ever get this message. #
- Nobody ever died from oven crude poisoning. #
- Any training that does not include the emotions, mind and body is incomplete; knowledge fades without feeling. — Anonymous #
- When eating an elephant take one bite at a time. — Gen. C. Abrams #
- People find life entirely too time-consuming — Stanislaw J. Lec #
- I must have slipped a disk — my pack hurts #
- Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing. #
- Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. — Dalai Lama #
- Your fortune stateth: You will gain money by an immoral action. #
- Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge. — Paul Gauguin #
- "Ya know, twinkies wouldn't even last as long as they do now around Rando if they were purple." — Tyro #
- God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through. — Paul Valery #
- VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Karen (talking to her car): Hey, quit that, damn car! Matt (in the passenger's seat): I'm not a damn car! Karen: Hey, quit that, damn Matt! #
- Cocaine magnifies your personality. Yeah but what if your an asshole — Bill Cosby, "Himself" #
- Do you have a text? do you use it? — Actual comment from the prof on my friend's Art History exam #
- That which is static and repetitive is boring. That which is dynamic and random is confusing. In between lies art. — John A. Locke #
- "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." — unknown #
- All men are brothers, like the seas throughout the world; So why do winds and waves clash so fiercely everywhere? — Emperor Hirohito #
- Everyone wants to understand painting. Why is there no attempt to understand the song of the birds? — Pablo Picasso #
- Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House — as Brutus loved Caesar. — Bill Moyers #
- The test of literature is, I suppose, whether we ourselves live more intensely for the reading of it. — Elizabeth Drew #
- How could they tell? — Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died #
- The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. — Gloria Leonard #
- Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels. #
- You're getting verrry sleepy…You're a chicken! — Jon #
- Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter. — N. D. Stice #
- People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they never use. — Kierkegaard #
- "Don't lick the fuse!" — Megan "Don't question my dupe." — Katie #
- "I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy." — Bern Williams #
- "But you shall not escape my iambics." — Gaius Valerius Catullus #
- "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." — attributed to Albert Einstein #
- "Don't shout for help at night. You might wake your neighbors." — Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts" #
- … Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror, and you would not have been informed. #
- "Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together…." — Carl Zwanzig #
- "Quarters equal laundry." — Jan Hittle #
- "…only drugs make you feel as good as people in TV ads appear to be." — Hakim Bey #
- "To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody." — Quentin Crisp #
- Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it. — Anonymous #
- "Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless. Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop." — Definitions, Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary #
- "Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married." — George Bernard Shaw #
- Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics: 1- Get elected. 2- Get Re-elected. 3- Don't get mad, get even. — Sen. Everett Dirksen #
- You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive. #
- Voucher Codes http://www.vouchercodes.uk.net #
- £99 iPhone stunt backfires http://reg.cx/1JHy #
- "It ain't broke, it just lacks duct tape." – Jim and Tim – the Duct Tape Guys #
- You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. — Richard Bach #
- Doesn't he get it? Should I wave a big red flag with "I Hate You" written on it? — Nicki #
- "Pre-Raphaelite cultists rock my world." — Kore #
- "WHAT is that noise?" — The response to the phone ringing at the Issaquah Crown Books store. #
- "One planet is all you get." #
- Your fortune stateth: Your boss climbed the corporate ladder, wrong by wrong. #
- We wish you a Hare Krishna We wish you a Hare Krishna We wish you a Hare Krishna And a Sun Myung Moon! — Maxwell Smart #
- Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"? — Hattie McDaniel #
- Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue — Airplane! #
- Why would anyone want to be called "Later"? #
- "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target." — Ashleigh Brilliant #
- It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters. — Lucius Annaeus Seneca #
- Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go. — Austin Dobson #
- Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. — Ken Dodd #
- Avoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep. — National Lampoon, "Deteriorada" #
- "That God… sure plays a mean pinball!" — Dave #
- Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth. — Anonymous #
- A man's house is his castle. — Sir Edward Coke #
- You are all you will ever have for certain. — June Havoc #
- Your fortune stateth: You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home. #
- "We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school." — Peter De Vries #
- "New York … is not Mecca. It just smells like it." — Neil Simon – US Playwright #
- Ah, the Tsar's bazaar's bizarre beaux-arts! #
- "There are only two places in this world: over here and over there." — Lorin #
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. — Mark Twain #
- To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. — George Santayana #
- Have you locked your file cabinet? #
- I am about to hatch more sea monkeys. — Lisa #
- "Useful tip: don't go too close to a black hole!" — Dewayne and Ashley, thought up in physics. #
- If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. #
- Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. — Anonymous #
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. — Emo Philips #
- "Ah, the curiosity of youth. On the road to ruin! May it ever be so adventurous!" — _Orgy of the Dead_ #
- "The Second Law of Thermodynamics: If you think things are in a mess now, just wait!" — Jim Warner #
- Home insurance quote searches still increasing post-recession http://goo.gl/fb/lDH7b #
- Ricky: What's up? Chris: The opposite of down. #
- Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object. #
- "When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other." — Eric Hoffer #
- Your fortune stateth: You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble. #
- When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. — Clarence Darrow #
- Unsecured Bad Credit Loans Collateral Free Money For Urgency http://goo.gl/fb/N9jvQ #
- BlackBerry Bold 9700 and Nokia N900 Lucrative Deals Galore http://goo.gl/fb/5Pho9 #
- Online payday loans instant cash with in 24 hrs http://goo.gl/fb/WU0F2 #
- "I am not an Economist. I am an honest man!" — Paul McCracken #
- You can call her an outdoor girl if she has the bloom of youth on her cheeks and the cheeks of youth in her bloomers. — Anonymous #
- It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing. — Gertrude Stein #
- Do sharks step back, if sharks could step, at the end of their day and reflect on their sharkness? — Jeff #
- Your fortune stateth: Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses. #
- Nokia N97 or HTC Legend- Choose The Best One For Yourself http://goo.gl/fb/3dnJ6 #
- Wedding Loans for Bad Credit Plan Your Wedding with Freeness http://goo.gl/fb/hjYDI #
- Apple iPhone 3G and Blackberry 8520 Curve are now available in an awesome White http://goo.gl/fb/kq5s3 #
- New Nissan Juke Embarks On Sneak-Peek Tour Of The Co-operative Motor Group http://goo.gl/fb/PRC8b #
- Bad Credit Payday Loans A chance for Poor Creditors to Meet Monthly Needs http://goo.gl/fb/sBSum #
- Seek simplicity — and distrust it. — Alfred North Whitehead #
- Your fortune stateth: You have been selected for a secret mission. #
- "If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly." — Ashleigh Brilliant #
- "My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin." — Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician #
- To be able to say how much love, is love but little. — Petrarch #
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- HTC Desire Contract deals to beat the best in the Business http://goo.gl/fb/caDcU #
- Tommy, i'm gonna kill you! — as the english teacher tries to choke Tommy in the middle of class. #
- A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul. — George Bernard Shaw #
- In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled. #
- Nokia C5 Contract Deals are Getting the Masses on All Networks http://goo.gl/fb/Szp5z #
- Blackberry 8910 Curve Curving Your Life The Way You Want http://goo.gl/fb/yKzuf #
- Debt Consolidation Alternatives Consider the Option in Multiple Problems http://goo.gl/fb/2wrLB #
- A mighty cool mobile phone deals http://goo.gl/fb/6fBgC #
- Avail Nokia X6 Deals at Contracts with free gifts http://goo.gl/fb/DT206 #
- I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. #
- The biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse time. — Merrick Furst #
- Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. — Mickey Mouse #
- Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. — Anonymous #
- Sic Transit Gloria Thursdi. #
- If we discover anti-gravity, won't we just be thrown off the face of the earth because of its rotation? — Matt Rose #
- Apple ipad contract deals with free Gifts http://goo.gl/fb/hWVG5 #
- Cheap as you go phones to cut your mobile phone bills http://goo.gl/fb/O6eOe #
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- When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat. #
- "Magic hat! All fall down!" — Paul B., after dropping his hat #
- I don't want to hear my brilliant T-bone turn into a sausage. — English professor talking about something (I have no clue what). #
- The reverse side also has a reverse side — Japanese proverb #
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