Twitter Updates for 2010-07-25
- Scott's first Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right. #
- Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor. #
- "Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing." — George Bernard Shaw #
- Mere colour, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways. — Oscar Wilde #
- Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum — "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am." — Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" #
- Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. — Mel Brooks #
- The body is the shell of the soul, and dress the husk of that shell; but the husk often tells what the kernel is. — Anonymous #
- "They pop out! Like Pop Tarts!" — Some guy I (Jason Holliman) was making keys for at Wal-Mart #
- Malek's Law: Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way. #
- You never know what you never know if you never know it. — MoJo #
- "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." — George Bernard Shaw #
- In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. — Andre Maurois #
- Hell is a half-filled auditorium. — Robert Frost #
- "To those who think that the law of gravity interferes with their freedom, there is nothing to say." — Lionel Tiger #
- It's hard to conceal a water balloon — Calvin #
- Your fortune stateth: Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon. #
- A diplomat is a man who remembers a lady's birthday but forgets her age. — Anonymous #
- Nicky: The Virgin Mary was born on THAT day. She was the product of a virgin birth too. Me: Immaculate conception is not genetic. #
- "If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?" — Jenny Weber #
- I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. — Blaise Pascal #
- Fudd's First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will fall over. #
- I'm considering stealing a coffee bean from the plant house and chewing on the cotyledons. — Lisa #
- You… kiddie cocktail drinking pie eater! — in honor of Dennis, Blake, Aaron, and Chris #
- We are what we are. #
- "Hey baby, my love is like a wrecking ball. Wanna help me swing it?" — James Sproul, Bakersfield College #
- (Beth yawns really big and doesn't bother to cover her mouth.) Brad looking at her: "You're hired." #
- "And on the left side of the aircraft, you will see Central Park." — Mr. Fulwiler, Histroy Teacher, on a bus trip to NYC. #
- Chaos is King, and Magic is loose in the world. #
- Your fortune stateth: Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click". #
- "To become a popular religion, it is only necessary for a superstition to enslave a philosophy." — William Ralph Inge #
- RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb — Dark Helmet, Space Balls #
- People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it. — Ogden Nash #
- A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. — John Ciardi #
- "Brevity is the soul of lingerie." — Dorothy Parker #
- Corrupt, adj.: In politics, holding an office of trust or profit. #
- In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. — Christopher Morley #
- "This is a free country, madam. We have the right to share your privacy in a public place." — Peter Ustinov – British actor #
- Conceit causes more conversation than wit. — LaRouchefoucauld #
- You can't learn techniques and then try to become a painter. Techniques are a result. — Jackson Pollock #
- "I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about." — Don Mazankowski #
- "Small script scripping goopie doop." — Robin's late night attempt at the word "shorthand" #
- "We have mileage, yardage, and footage. Why don't we have inchage?" — Casey #
- All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers. — Orison Swett Marden #
- "America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up." — Oscar Wilde #
- Your fortune stateth: Are you a turtle? #
- "The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf." — Unknown #
- In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls. — Lenny Bruce #
- If people get tired of worshiping all those futile-seeming religions about "good" and "bad", they should worship entropy. — Paul #
- Year, n.: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments. — Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" #
- A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. — Bob Hope #
- Disorder increases with time because we measure time in the direction in which disorder increases. — Stephen Hawking #
- Did you ever wake up after a night of drinking and feel like the brain cells the alcohol killed were the important ones? — Dave Reckess #
- Backward conditioning: Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to make a bell ring #
- Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in? #
- Did it ever occur to you that fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Or that we drive on parkways and park on driveways? #
- Precision is not reality — Henri Mattisse #
- It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees. — Emiliano Zapata #
- PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood. — Ambrose Bierce #
- Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. — Johnny Carson #
- Mozart tells us what it's like to be human, Beethoven tells us what it's like to be Beethoven, Bach tells us what it's like to be universe #
- Nuclear fission is more like ping-pong. — Roy Hartzler #
- Do you still have to fight off the Indians? — question a cab driver in California asked my family #
- "When all else fails, look cute." — Jim Davis, "Garfield" comic #
- When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut. #
- Spend extra time on hobby. Get plenty of rolling papers. #
- The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper — Thomas Jefferson #
- To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant. — Amos Bronson Alcolt #
- "Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." — Oscar Wilde #
- Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves. — Henry David Thoreau #
- The early worm gets the bird. #
- Truth…never comes into the world but like a Bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her forth. — John Milton #
- "An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." — Niels Bohr #
- Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. — Johnny Carson #
- My goal in life is not to be quoted. — Cheri #
- 'Factory refurbished' — does that mean it's junk? — Mike Limrick, inquiring about a "factory refurbished" Zip drive he saw in a catalog. #
- "I found out I own a Chevette and I have a brother." — Jen, about her strange week #
- Your lucky color has faded. #
- Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. — Mike Adams #
- It dont matter WHAT your doin, ust as long as you LOOK GOOD doin it — David Lee Roth #
- Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter. — N. D. Stice #
- Your face is like a bad country music song…BLEAAahhhhh! — Amy, psycho ex-roommate. #
- A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. — G. B. Shaw #
- Your fortune stateth: Excellent day to have a rotten day. #
- "I've been up and down so many times, I feel like a revolving door" — Cher #
- For every person wanting to teach there are 30 not wanting to be taught. — W.C. Sellar #
- What Makes Aetna Health Insurance the Best in the Business http://goo.gl/fb/ZmlxX #
- Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do. — Donald Knuth #
- Capitalism is like an island of wealth, surrounded by a sea of poverty. — Noam Chomsky #
- "I have an unnatural obsession with that number." — Ellie #
- "For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." — H. L. Mencken #
- Where there is love there is life. — Gandhi #
- Online Assignments Help the easiest way to learn more http://goo.gl/fb/tEv8o #
- iSkysoft Releases Video and DVD to iPad Converter for Mac Users http://goo.gl/fb/ejSfg #
- Unsecured loans UK- Fetch Finance For Use Without Giving A Guarantee http://goo.gl/fb/GYPGq #
- Mobile Phone Deals Communication with ease http://goo.gl/fb/KKZ2v #
- Acute Consideration Knowledge Needed To Buy Port Washington Homes for Sales http://goo.gl/fb/80AqG #
- The pioneers of a warless world are the youth that refuse military service. — Albert Einstein #
- "I was playing poker the other night… with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died." — Steven Wright #
- "Sex education classes in our public schools are promoting incest." — Jimmy Swaggart #
- Accordion, n.: A bagpipe with pleats. #
- I like life — it's something to do. #
- If the future isn't what it used to be, does that mean that the past is subject to change in times to come? #
- Fortune's graffito of the week (or maybe even month): Don't Write On Walls! (and underneath) You want I should type? #
- "Now we're livin' fat. Fat City." — Brian's dad, in response to having diced spam in his scrambled eggs. #
- Your fortune stateth: People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house. #
- What causes the mysterious death of everyone? #
- Your fortune stateth: Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks. #
- "If I had to choose between skim milk and death… I'd choose death." — Carol Ann Langton, while pouring whole milk into her afternoon tea #
- Your fortune stateth: You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to. #
- Beth: Jarrod got a speeding ticket yesterday. Amber: For what? Walking too fast? — Amber, making fun of Jarrod, who doesn't have a car. #
- A crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He was going to make a long-distance caw. #
- "I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest." — A. Whitney Brown #
- Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow #
- "Novelty is not necessarily a virtue." — Rita Mae Brown #
- Your fortune stateth: Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight. #
- "My favorite road sign is the one that just says 'MOOSE' on it, because really, who are they trying to fool?" — Ryan #
- "Rough work, iconoclasm, but the only way to get at truth." — Oliver Wendell Holmes #
- "Exposure to heat makes things hot." — Elijah. #
- No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it. #
- Rubber bands have snappy endings! #
- "She said that if she smelled peanut butter, she'd die." — Carrie #
- Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. — Henry David Thoreau #
- That feeling isn't fear, it's just telling you to MOVE !! — Rancid #
- Which way is the ocean? — the ever quotable Grandma E, while visiting St. Louis. #
- Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry: A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors. #
- If you're ever on fire, I think it's best not to look in a mirror, because that will really get you in a panic. — Jack Handey #
- These people are so rich they don't get crabs…they get lobsters — Robin Williams #
- After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box. — Italian proverb #
- Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate. — Mark B. Cohen #
- The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled culinary vessel will not achieve 100 degrees on the Celsius scale. #
- Bankruptcy Laws Must understand the facts http://goo.gl/fb/5o5hr #
- Debt Consolidation Loans Manage your debt easily http://goo.gl/fb/DYT3U #
- Cash Advance Loans – Rapid Money For Your Small Financial Issues http://goo.gl/fb/L9VVB #
- Payday Advance Without Faxing – Grab The Needful Credit Sans Paperwork http://goo.gl/fb/Npjk3 #
- Google Nexus One Mobile Phone with Endless Attributes http://goo.gl/fb/2JufH #
- "My good intentions are completely lethal." — Margaret Atwood #
- I think when we get those moments where things are just too hard to comprehend, there is a whole different world. — C.S. Lewis #
- A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. Avoid him. He's a Commie. #
- "Oh great, so now I'm the bad guy?" — R Schwemle, after rear ending a police car sitting at a light. #
- Using TSO is like kicking a dead whale down the beach. — S. C. Johnson #
- No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back. — Turkish Proverb #
- Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time. — A.E. Houseman #
- Give me a Plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh dome, and a place to stand, and I will drain the world. #
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." — Groucho Marx #
- "I'd love to go out with you, but I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling." #
- If it keeps you awake, it's art; if it puts you to sleep, it's a drug. — Unknown #
- Your fortune stateth: This will be a memorable month — no matter how hard you try to forget it. #
- "Anything too stupid to be said, is sung." — Voltaire #
Similar Products
- Emporio Armani Sunglasses (100%)
- Gucci Sunglasses (100%)
- Oakley Sunglasses (100%)
- Rayban Sunglasses (100%)
- Mens Santa Cruz Hats & Accessories (100%)
- Seasalt Scarves & Shawls (100%)
- Roxy Bags & Backpacks (100%)
- Fendi Bags (100%)
- Plain Lazy Bags (100%)
- Bags from Dorothy Perkins (100%)